Last night I watched the documentary Inside the Manosphere. What struck me most was not shock or outrage. It was recognition.

The language, the anger, the narratives around masculinity and power – I hear versions of them constantly in my work with boys and young men. Many are absorbing this content daily. It shapes how they see themselves, relationships, women, success, and the world around them.

Some of what is being promoted online is deeply concerning. It can be hostile, manipulative, and at times outright harmful. But if we only focus on condemning the message, we risk ignoring the conditions that make it appealing in the first place.

Young men are not drawn to these spaces in a vacuum. Many arrive there already disconnected, discouraged, lonely, or struggling to find identity and belonging.

The Reality for Boys and Men in Australia

So many boys are growing up emotionally isolated, uncertain of where they fit, and ashamed of struggling. We are often looking at pain long before we are looking at aggression.

Why the Manosphere Appeals to Boys

The manosphere succeeds because it offers something psychologically powerful: certainty, identity, belonging, status, direction, and simple answers to complicated emotions. For boys who feel invisible or inadequate, that can feel incredibly seductive.

The problem is that it does not actually resolve their distress. It often redirects it outward. Vulnerability becomes anger. Shame becomes superiority. Hurt becomes blame.

But criticism alone will not pull boys away from these spaces.

Young men need more than warnings about what not to follow. They need healthy models of what to move toward.

What Protects Boys from Harmful Online Influence

Research consistently shows that boys are significantly less vulnerable to harmful online influence when they experience:

Boys who feel securely connected at home are less likely to seek belonging through extreme online communities.

Effective parenting does not “soften” boys. It strengthens them. It builds emotional regulation, resilience, empathy, accountability and identity – all protective factors against extremist thinking and toxic masculinity narratives.

At Anna Cohen and Co, I have worked with boys and young men for over 30 years. If you are concerned about your son’s online influences, emotional withdrawal, anger, or identity struggles, professional support can help.

Book a consultation: 02 9555 1168 or visit annacohenandco.com.au/contact

Frequently Asked Questions

At what age do boys start being influenced by manosphere content?

Many boys encounter this content from around age 10-12, often through YouTube, TikTok and gaming communities. The influence typically peaks during early to mid-adolescence when identity formation is most active.

What are the warning signs my son is consuming manosphere content?

Watch for sudden changes in language around gender and relationships, dismissive attitudes toward women, preoccupation with “alpha” or “beta” terminology, withdrawal from family conversations, increased anger or contempt, and a shift toward viewing vulnerability as weakness.

How should I talk to my son about the manosphere?

Avoid leading with criticism of the content. Start by asking what appeals to him about it. Acknowledge the legitimate needs underneath (belonging, confidence, direction) while gently questioning whether the content actually delivers on those needs.

Can a psychologist help with this?

Yes. A clinical psychologist who specialises in adolescent boys can work on the underlying emotional needs driving the attraction to these spaces, build emotional literacy and healthy identity, and support parents in responding effectively at home.

Does this only affect boys from troubled families?

No. Boys from stable, loving families can also be drawn to this content. The algorithms are designed to be compelling, and adolescence is a naturally vulnerable period for identity searching regardless of family background.